BK DIVA CHRONICLES

Stop Your Bloodclot Crying!!!

2009-11-10T07:51:00.000-08:00

For those who know me personally know that I'm an avid volunteer with New York Cares. Every year I set a goal of one hundred volunteer hours. I usually pick fun projects so me giving my time isn't such a big deal. But because I'm a huge procrastinator, as the year ends I scramble to rack up hours and sign up for every project I can to guarantee that my goal is met. Friday before last, I signed up to assist with an annual dinner for the Achilles Track Club. It didn't sound like a fun project but it didn't sound bad either. Since it was a dinner and was at a hotel I figured I couldn't go in with my usual jeans/sweats/sneakers attire; I'd have to opt for dressier clothing. I had taken Friday off and my most comfortable heels were in my office and I don't have flats (well appropriate flats). So I headed off to the hotel in a pair of three inch boots (the flattest most comfortable shoes I had). The volunteer job description called for checking in and registering guests, help with set ups and serve as guides. Guess who got the position of being a guide. Yup yours truly. That meant no sitting for four hours. Before my feet even began to hurt I was a big ball of complaints. The other volunteers had the job of check-in/registers (a position that called for sitting down). So I'm outside directing people in and I'm just pissed off. Really for no reason except the fact that I had to stand and didn't have the "easy" job. I'm standing and smiling as I'm greeting and directing guests towards the conference room where the dinner is being held. I'm still complaining to myself saying that my cheeks will soon hurt from the "fake" smile I was putting on. I'm completely oblivious to the people attending the dinner because I'm caught up in my own little world of imaginary ailments. As the dinner started and there were less people to guide I was able to catch the slide show they presented at dinner. Not once did I look up what kind of organization the Achilles Track Club was. But the slide show was a big reality check. This was an organization that helped disabled people (whether it be those who are in wheel chairs or on crutches, have prostheses and visually impaired), participate in long distance running. The people I was greeting and guiding had these disabilities. This was a kick off dinner because these disabled people were going to participate the ING NYC Marathon (26.2 miles for those who didn't know). Here I am complaining EARLY for no reason because my feet didn't actually start to hurt till it was time to go home. And as far as putting on a fake smile it should not have been fake because looking at these people I have every reason to smile. I have my health, I'm able to stand on my two feet (literally and figuratively speaking), I have all my five senses - all things I take for granted. I was complaining about having to stand for four hours while these people would die to be in my position. I'm supposedly putting on a fake smile while these people were showing me their real smiles because they were so appreciative to be able to participate in such an event.

I would like my facebook and twitter friends to think twice about complaining on their updates (I am not pointing fingers because I've been guilty plenty of times for using "FML" on something trivial). Yes some days are just horrible, but think of how horrible you'd feel it you didn't have the ability to walk or hear or see. To see these people with disabilities so full of spirit was a wake up call. Live everyday to the fullest. And believe me shit happens. But like the saying goes when life gives you lemons - make lemonade.

If you'd like more information or volunteer with the Achilles Track Club or New York Cares their websites follow.

http://www.achillestrackclub.org/

http://www.newyorkcares.org/

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

2009-10-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

It's Halloween again. It's also Ms. Hollywood's birthday. I want to give a HUGE birthday shout out to Ms. Hollywood who turns the BIG 3-0 this halloween. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABES!! Here's to being flirty and getting dirty at thirty!!!!

I hope everyone has a fun and safe halloween!!!!

Ms. Hollywood as a Harem Dancer and me as a Hooters Waitress (Halloween '08)

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

Old School Vid Pick (Anniversary Edition)

2009-09-02T16:42:00.000-07:00

Wow!!! Seventeen years ago, Ms. Hollywood and I met in high school. That school year began towards the end of September that year, because of the Asbestos scare (who remembers that?? LOL). We didn't necessarily start off as best friends, we just had a lot of classes together and hung around the same people. But by the end of the school year it was just me and her left going to summer school by ourselves. And that is when we became BFFs.

One year ago today we decided to start a blog. I sat and read the posts we put up and nothing's changed since high school. We're just as loony and random as we were back then and even throughout all we've been through, (more posts to come), we still manage to smile through it all. Our old school vid pick is a song probably no one on this planet but us liked (in our case loved). Enjoy!!

P.S. We know we aren't consistent with the blog, but we are working on that so you continue to visit.

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

My Name is Bennett & I AIN'T IN IT!!!!

2009-08-28T07:05:00.000-07:00

I was listening to a friend the other day about having problems with her man and it reminded me of a time when I went in too deep in a friend's relationship. It taught me to mind my business when it comes to things like that. It's good to be there for your friends through sticky situations but learn from your mistakes (or at least mine).........

As I'm leaving work, I check my cell and see six missed calls from my dear friend and roommate.

"I've been trying to get in touch with you forever!" says my roommate.

"Why? What happened?" I yell through the phone as my heart starts to race.

"Guess where I'm at?" asks my roommate.

"Where?" I demand.

"At my boyfriend's other girlfriend house.... RIGHT AROUND THE FUCKING CORNER FROM OUR APARTMENT!"

So not only is Dude cheating on my roommate, he has the audacity to have another girlfriend right in our own neighborhood. All I can think about is all the bullshit and heartache that I used to go through with the "boys" I dealt with but to find out that your man is disrespecting you by having another woman that lives just feet away from you is unimaginable. So I decided to meet my roommate who was already at the other woman's house. I knocked on the door and when I was told to come in, I couldn't believe how my roommate and the other girlfriend looked exactly alike! We were all sitting at a table talking about events that took place such as places they've been together, love letters, birthday cards and emails.

Once the meeting ended at the other girlfriend's house, we all decided to take a trip to his house. Luckily he wasn't there or unless he was but just ignoring the knocks and kicks at the door. After a neighbor threatened to call the cops because of all the ruckus we were making, we left.

The next plan was to constantly blow up his cell phone. Finally my roommate got in touch with him and spoke kindly as if nothing ever took place today and told him to come over. He explained that he was out of town taking an important test regarding his career and he would be back that night.

We decided to go back to our place -(BAD IDEA). I really didn't like the idea of everyone at the house for this confrontation because things can get ugly (which they did)! So my roommate and the other girlfriend are in the kitchen sitting at the table when all of a sudden my roommate gets up and goes into her room, gets all the things he ever gave her - every last gift and even some clothing he left and turned into Bernadine (Angela Basset's character from Waiting to Exhale) She went out into the backyard and started burning everything. My roommate is crying right now and decides to get a bottle of Clorox beach. At this point I stepped in because there is no way I will let her waste her life in jail for blinding the guy. Finally Dude comes in and he didn't know what hit him. They both dragged his ass in after trying to escape and they were kicking and punching and spitting on him. After seeing my roommate cry and remembering how many times I've been in the exact same situation I decided to jump in (yes I know I'm shaking my head too) and didn't feel ANY remorse at all. I felt he deserved every moment of it! Only thing Dude kept saying was "I fucked up" "I fucked up" "I'm sorry".

Some how he got away and the fight continued outside. That wasn't smart, didn't need the nosey neighbors having their "front porch sitting" asses gossiping for weeks. I eventually pulled my roommate to bring her inside.

Two days later I come in from work and as I was settling in I hear the door unlocking and enters in my roommate with DUDE. They were laughing and groping each other as they both went into her room. She didn't even look my way even though I'm sure she knew I was staring right at her.

After all that drama she went through, shit what she put me through!!! (Please note jumping in the fight was all me but I'm sorry - once she dialed my number and decided to use our home for all the drama it became MY drama!!) From that phone call telling me about his cheating ass to hunting his ass to beating his ass - she had he nerve to have his ass up in our place! She couldn't even give the man a week when even that's too soon!

I told m roommate after the smoked cleared that I would never put myself in a situation like that, even if she didn't stay with him. You go through all the trouble to hurt him but at the end of the ordeal you're only hurting yourself. Ladies, even you guys out there - take my experience as a lesson learned. Next time just .....

MIND YOUR BUSINESS!!!

Old School Vid Pick (TGIF edition)

2009-06-19T07:38:00.000-07:00

TGIF everyone. It's not raining and the sun is trying to make its debut (yes debut), so I'm in a pretty good mood. We haven't put up an old school vid pick in a minute so I thought how appropriate would it be to play none other than R. Kelly's Thank God it's Friday video. Say what you want about the man, but he puts out good music point blank period. Enjoy!!!

R Kelly - Thank God it's Friday
Uploaded by Brownsugar18.

Also because I'm in such a good mood, I'm sharing my TGI Friday's coupon with you. (TGI Fridays get it. I'm on a roll here lol) It's buy one entree get one free. Hurry it ends Monday the 22nd.

** If you don't know by now, I'm the coupon queen (don't judge - I got bills). Check out these websites that offer almost every coupon under the sun**

www.couponcabin.com

www.wow-coupons.com

www.smartsource.com

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

Walk the Cork this Summer!!!

2009-06-14T22:11:00.000-07:00

Whether its wedge or heel, this corkscrew fashion can be So Chic and Hollywood for the great weather were all anticipating for.

Charles David 'Ticket' Platform Heels .....$249.99
www.heels.com

Prada Strappy Wedge Heel .....$495.00
www.neimanmarcus.com

Miu Miu Metallic T-Strap Sandal .....$635.00
www.neimanmarcus.com

Beatrix Ong Canvas Open toed Platform heel .....$305.00
www.farfetch.com

Kors by Micheal Kors Nigel .....$192.02
www.zappos.com

Harajuku Lovers 'Leah Heel' .....$99.99
www.heels.com

Gucci Santander Wedges .....$401.90
www.saksfifthavenue.com

Giuseppe Zanotti Patent Platform Pumps .....$390.00
www.net-a-porter.com

Chinese Laundry Bootsy Sandal .....$55.99
www.shoemall.com

Betsey Johnson 'Hogan' Sandal .....$86.90
www.betseyjohnson.com

Besos,

Ms.Hollywood

Smells Like Summer!!

2009-06-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

So summer's here. (Well not quite especially in NYC, can someone remind Mother Nature that its June already.) As the season changes, we also make changes not only to our wardrobe and hair color but to our perfumes as well. As our clothes and hair colors go lighter, we opt for lighter scents. Here are some fragrances that have a summer version to their signature scents.

Calvin Klein Eternity Summer - $54.00

Issey Miyake L'Eau d'Issey Summer - $62.00

Jean Paul Gaultier Classique Summer - $62.00

Thierry Mugler Angel Sunessence - $80.00

The Body Shop's White Musk White Hot Summer - $17.50

Burberry Classic Summer - $49.00

CK One Summer (Unisex) - $44.00

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

THIRTY IS NOT THE NEW TWENTY!!!

2009-05-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

So I'm officially 30. (Shout out to all the Tauruses!!) And believe it or not, I'm embracing it quite well. Everyone says 30 is the new 20. I beg to differ. Although "age ain't nothing but a number", there are things that were acceptable when I was younger that I can't do now. Like to hear it here it go...(LOL)
1. Going to clubs where age limit is 18 or over. Think about it. We were 16 sneaking into the clubs where the age minimum was 18. Hell, I'm sure there's kids who do that for 21 and over clubs. Who wants to party with Bebe's kids? The crowds are more mature at Chuck E. Cheese. Unless you're R. Kelly or Mary Kay Letourneau, stick to lounges.
2. Getting airbrush and designs on your nails. I'm not gonna front I used to get every color imaginable airbrushed on my ridiculously long nails. But 'used to' are the key words here. Your nails shouldn't be longer than your fingers nor should they look like a painting at the MOMA.
3. Wearing Applebottoms, Rocawear, Baby Phat or any other clothing line that has their huge emblem all over. There is no reason why you are thirty and over walking down the street with a big RW on your back or an apple on your ass. However, Baby Phat gets a pass for these. http://www.zappos.com/multiview/7563345/695 No cat in sight.
4. Doing the stanky leg, ricky bobby, swag surf, halle berry or any other one of those dances that really no one should be doing unless there's a 'teen' at the end of your age. I don't think a further explanation is needed.
5. Not having a 401k, profit sharing, savings or some sort of a retirement plan. I know the economy is bad and some may feel like you're better off putting your money underneath your mattress. But most jobs match your contributions, so it doesn't hurt to set a little to the side. We're damn near half our way to retirement. Who wants to work until the age of 80? If you having started that safety net, it would be wise to do so now.
6. Not being registered to vote. A lot of you got a pass because you registered for this last election. But it doesn't stop there people. Vote for your governor, mayor, and local politicians such as state senators, borough president, and city councils. These are the people responsible for fixing those potholes in the street, changing that stop sign into a stoplight and better the safety of your neighborhoods. If you don't vote, don't complain.
7. Wearing rundown shoes. If you're walking down the street and your shoes look like the leaning tower of Pisa or if you walk down the street sounding like Savion Glover then we have a problem. I know the pavements (especially in New York) can do a number on your shoes and it is a recession but my shoe repair man charges me 8 bucks to make my shoes look brand new.
8. Not being interview ready. A suit needs to be in your closet. And I'm not talking about those skittle Steve Harvey pimp suits either. A simple black, navy, or grey suit will do. Look at it as an investment. Also an updated resume should be readily accessible. Especially in these times - you don't want to walk into an interview with your resume on loose leaf paper.
9. Calling your significant other your girlfriend/boyfriend. I'm still on the fence on this one but a couple more people cosigned so it goes on the list. According to Ms. Hollywood this a major faux pas and called me out on it because I did this just last week. In my defense first it was the day before my birthday so technically I was still 29 so I get a pass (lol). Second what should I introduce him as? Partner sounds like I'm a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that-for my Seinfeld fans). Do I call him manfriend like Carrie and Mr. Big in the SATC movie? But I do have to admit BOYfriend does sound a bit high school. :/
10. Not using condoms. It's last but definitely not least. This actually goes for the day you start having intercourse but at the age of 30 you definitely need to be responsible and take accountability for your actions. Too many diseases out there and we need to set examples for the youth.

I'm sure a lot of people have more to add to the list so feel free to leave it in the comments.

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

Fringe Fringe & MORE Fringe

2009-04-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

I MUST ADMIT that I am quite the fan when it comes to the fringe look. Just please don't mistake it with "tassles". :-/

Christian Louboutin Fringe Cutout Boots....$1695.00
www.nordstrom.com

Sergio Rossi High Heel Fringe sandal....$850.00
www.sergiorossi.com

Betsey Johnson Fringe Boots....$179.00
www.betseyjohnson.com

Alexander Wang Fringe Booties....$600.00
www.saksfithavenue.com

if you can wear uggs in the summer,whats wrong with a lil fringe on the side?
Koolaburra Fringe Kettle Boots....$300.00
http://www.koolaburra.com

Prada Fringe Bag....$1130.00
www.ASOS.com

JJ Winters Fringe Bag....$425.00
www.jjwinters.com

FCUK Fringe Bag....160.00
www.comparestoreprices.co.uk

Juicy Couture Fringe Bag....$378.00
www.neimanmarcus.com

MB Fringe bag....$68.00
shopsueyboutique.com

Besos,

Ms.Hollywood

SO ADDICTIVE

2009-03-30T18:16:00.000-07:00

SoChic has a tattoo that makes us honorary tattoo sisters (LOL) she decided to get her horoscope sign on her front left shoulder thanks to me of course ;-). She gets branded in the city by St. Marks to be exact. There were so many tattoo shops on that strip but were also joined with mall carts with out wheels selling there hats, scarves, jewelry and etc. Didn't seem like the appropriate place to have a needle artistically scraping against the skin but finally we found the perfect spot!

A bit upset of not remembering the name but it was a piercing and tattoo shop that also sold bongs and water pipes in all sizes and designs, it was ridiculous in my opinion. So as we're in there we show the artist the tattoo SoChic wanted (which I drawn for her as well to display). We got to talking, she sat down calmly on the chair, slowly pulled her sleeve off her left shoulder and took a deep but relaxing breath and was ready to go! First was the outline drawing which took a quick minute or two. Then the needle drawing outline which usually pinches and for all of the tattoo feinds out there we know the most unpleasant part is the coloring. Overall she made it through with flying colors! Shout out to Mad Dog the artist that did a splendid job. I'm going back to fix an old one of mines and get a few more myself...... they're just SO ADDICTIVE!!!

Besos,

Ms. Hollywood

Spread Love It's The Brooklyn Way

2009-03-25T10:28:00.000-07:00

I was watching Bad Girls Club and Whitney stays talking about Boston. Good for her but no one beats my Brooklyn peeps repping hard for their borough. We rep Brooklyn HARD. No matter where you go (city, state, country or wherever) someone is from Brooklyn. We have some of the best people hailing from BK - Shirley Chisholm, the first black woman to be elected to Congress. Sports greats - Michael Jordan and Mike Tyson. Academy Award winners Mel Brooks, Louis Gosset Jr., Barbra Streisand, and Marisa Tomei. Funny comedians - Jerry Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy and Chris Rock. Awesome rappers - Jay-Z, Fabolous, Big Daddy Kane, Talib Kweli, Mos Def and of course the Notorious B.I.G.!! We got the best everything. Best pizza-Grimaldi's, best cheesecake-Juniors, best steak-Peter Lugers. Where else can you go for jerk chicken at four in the morning? (Shout outs to Mackenzie's on Utica). LOL!!

I'm taking it back and want to reminisce on old school Brooklyn for a minute. To the Easter Sundays at Coney Island or the Aquarium when you were young. Then going as teenagers but only riding Himalaya or Music Express. Barbequeing in the summer at Canarsie Pier, Prospect Park or in your projects grassy areas/parks lol! Chilling downtown at Albee Square Mall, going to Bargain Bazaar to bring in our old doorknockers or fronts to get a discount on new ones while getting a new pair of 54.11s or Jordans then going to the pizzeria that had the pizza with the heavy cheese (no we didn't ask for extra cheese-that's just how it came). Shout outs to all the old dancehall clubs - The Biltmore, Golden Pavillion, Tilden Ballroom, Club Rendezvous aka The Legend aka Culture Club that even if u were fifteen you could still sneak up in them joints lmao!

So for this edition of Old School Wednesdays, we are picking video(s), yes plural because like Santogold says 'BROOKLYN WE GO HARD'!! Enjoy!!

PS I know you're reading this and thinking to yourself 'No BIG?' well he talks about BK in every song, so I'd have to post all his albums lol! But what I do have is his acceptance speech from the infamous '95 Source Awards.

We do it for the borough!! Truly the county of KINGS!!

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day

2009-03-10T15:10:00.000-07:00

Today is National Women and Girls HIV/AIDS Awareness Day. AIDS is something that affects everyone. I lost my grandfather and Ms. Hollywood lost her aunt to this pandemic. Everyday more and more women are being diagnosed with HIV/AIDS. We have a responsibility to spread the word and educate our youth on protecting themselves and getting tested.

For those who want more info on stats and how you can help in your community check out these websites.

http://www.theredpumpproject.com/

http://www.womenshealth.gov/NWGHAAD/

http://marvelynbrown.blogspot.com/

There is a summit for young women of color at St. Francis College in Brooklyn on March 21, 2009. Most likely Ms. Hollywood and I will be volunteering for the event. If you are in the area, stop by. Bring your friends, sisters, cousins, kids, mamas, baby mamas whoever to help spread the word and stop spreading this virus. And Remember - GET TESTED and know that SAFE SEX IS GREAT SEX!!!

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

We'll Always Love Big Poppa

2009-03-09T07:03:00.000-07:00

Today marks the 12th anniversary of Christopher 'Notorious B.I.G.' Wallace's death. I remember when I heard the news. Ms. Hollywood called me early that Sunday morning yelling into the phone that he was shot and didn't make it. I was shocked and just sat there emotionless in disbelief. I felt like I had lost a family member. Being from Brooklyn - Biggie was truly the King of New York. I can tell you where I was, what I had on, who I was with every time I heard a new Biggie song. We were in high school when BIG and Bad Boy were on top of the world. We walked around quoting BIG and Junior M.A.F.I.A., playing Faith's first album back to back. Shit, even 112's Cupid was our theme song for our senior prom. And I know I mentioned in an earlier post that Ms. Hollywood, my other homegirl Parker and I thought we were the group Total back in high school. Lol! We were seniors at the time of his death and not only was it the end of the Bad Boy era but the end of our childhood. We were graduating, going off to college, and becoming 'adults'. I miss Notorious B.I.G. and I miss high school. I miss the Bad Boy era and I miss New York holding it down in the music industry. I miss our innocence. The irony of it all is that we couldn't wait to leave all that behind, grow up and run into the 'real world'. I got tears in my eyes writing this as I'm humming to myself 'Can it be that it was all so simple then'? So I'm dedicating our old school vid pick to the King of NY, our fellow Brooklynite, the late great Notorious B.I.G. I was going to do something he did on his own but I wanted to take it waaaay back to the first time I heard of him. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

RIP Christopher Wallace. You are truly missed.

Sidebar - can anyone tell me what the hell Diddy (or Puffy back then) was saying in this song?? I tried to google it but I think even they couldn't understand it. Biggie said it best with his last line of his verse 'Lawd mi caan tek it nuh more!' Lol!

Besos

Ms. SoChic

The Whack Girls Club

2009-03-06T07:23:00.000-08:00

The reality show Bad Girls Club on the Oxygen network should change the name of the show to the Whack Girls Club. These girls claim they're so "bad ass" but when it comes down to get down and dirty all they do is pull hair??? In the last episode, two girls got into a fight and that's exactly what they did - pulled each others hair. I was most disappointed in Whitney - the girl who hails from Boston, repping her city in every episode and claiming how she will 'eff a bish' up.

Well you had your opportunity to show and prove and the only thing you proved was that your bark is worse than your bite. Now don't get me wrong, I don't condone fighting. But my thing is if you're gonna talk about it - be about it. And didn't she say she was a boxer in an earlier episode? Anyway, every time I see Whitney, I see Anne Ramsey from the movie Throw Momma from the Train.

Every time I hear her say BOSTON all I think of is Anne Ramsey yelling OWEN! LMAO!

Anyway, I'm still gonna watch the show in hopes that these girls learn something from this experience and change their attitudes or if not at least get some fighting skills! PLEASE!

Besos

Ms. SoChic

Shoes are also a DIVA(s) best friend!

2009-03-03T20:19:00.000-08:00

I hate when a man surprises me and gives me flowers, it can only mean one thing....that he f**ked up and wants to make up by any means neccessary. How about something that will make me forget your wrong doing (at least for the moment) like SHOES!!!! And if your smart enough try combing the two together next time!

Summer is soon to arrive and what better way to walk all over that significant other with these floral pattern pumps.

PRADA floral heeled peeptoe pumps......$590.00
http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod45750214&parentId=cat13030777&masterId=cat13030764&index=1&cmCat=cat000000cat000141cat13030734cat13030764cat13030777

CHRISTIAN LACROIX floral heel pumps.......$379.99
http://www.shoesale.com/christian-lacroix-983906-heel-multi.html

DIOR Paraiso slingback platforms......$750.00
http://www.neimanmarcus.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod67870129&ecid=NMCIGoogleBaseFeed&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=X0A8G

DOLCE & GABBANA floral vine pumps........$1125.00
http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/store/catalog/prod.jhtml?itemId=prod37480106

BCBG multi floral print peep toe pumps.......$80.06
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7494937/c/180641.html

BETSEY JOHNSON fabi platform slingback pumps......$109.98
http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/betsey-johnson-fabi-pink--betsey-johnson-shoes

NAUGHTY MONKEY butterfly bouquet pumps......$69.99
http://www.endless.com/Naughty-Monkey-Womens-Butterfly-Bouquet/dp/B001H55DKO/184-6750082-0504530?ie=UTF8&suppressRedirect=1

JESSICA SIMPSON floral lizza pumps.......$89.95
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/p/7512789/c/194202.html

GUESS carrie6 floral pumps........$89.95
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=375760&CategoryID=25690

XHILIRATION sandra peep toe black floral pumps......$11.49
http://www.amazon.com/Women%2527s-Xhilaration-Sandra-Peep%252dToe-Floral/dp/B00182K9KK

Besos,

Ms. Hollywood

I Love Music, Any Kind of Music... well maybe not

2009-02-27T14:38:00.000-08:00

On my way home on the subway yesterday, my iPod battery died. :( As I said to myself damn I need some tunes, along came this to quench my thirst for music…

WHAT DI BLOODCLAAT??!!!!!???

Sidebar – I did not record this. I was too chicken. (I’m sorry, the last thing I need is some man going psycho on me for recording him). Anywhooo, last night he had on a green and black plaid suit (yes plaid) and since the train was not crowded (GASP!), he gave us some WICKED dance moves for our viewing pleasure. I just knew he had to be on youtube, so I did a quick search and sure enough someone was kind enough to capture it for us. Only in NYC I tell you ONLY in NYC! Thanks mikereich1!!

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

Something Something Something Something Just Ain't Right!!

2009-02-20T13:59:00.000-08:00

So everyone who knows me knows that I'm a reality show addict. I know I know. How could I watch those shows? Hey its only entertainment. So of course I've been watching For the Love of Ray J. Its like Flavor of Love all over again except for better looking girls - at least in my own opinion. However, every guy I know who's watched the show says there's one girl who is, well I won't use their exact words... let's just say not as pretty as the others.

Jillian Campbell aka Genuine.

I don't think she's ugly. She just needs a better weave. Lol! Anyways. After looking at her a while, I noticed something didn't look right about her. Then it hit me. She's a man!!

Being the reality show freak that I am, I remembered Jesse from VH1s Americas Most Smartest Model. I'm sorry everyone. That's him with a bad weave on. Like Durty Mo says "There's a man in there." LMAO!!!

Besos

-Ms. SoChic

Funk Dat! Old School Vid Pick

2009-02-04T10:37:00.000-08:00

I'm in a funky kind of mood. Tax season is the worst. Can somebody remind me why I chose to be an accountant? Plus everyone in my office is sick and wants to come in my office to chat and spread germs at the same time. Would I be wrong if I spray my Lysol in their face? But I digress. I'm about to close my office door and listen to my iPod for the rest of the afternoon. In the meantime this is for everyone who feels like I do right now. Enjoy!!
-Ms. SoChic

2009-01-30T08:27:00.000-08:00

These two songs are played heavily on my iPod. Explode is off of Ciara's album called Fantasy Ride which was pushed back because of you know who but besides that this track is hot. I can visualize a music video for this and Nelly's One And Only off his slept album Brass Knuckles was produced by Polo The Don (another sexy mofo). Let me know if you guys are feeling these tracks as well.

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What In the World?

2009-01-29T19:08:00.000-08:00

A few days ago me and Ms.SoChic happen to be downtown on Fulton St. and walked into the infamous Lady Dr.Jays and caught a glimpse of the mannequins they have displayed. They are very well endowed in the front and back, now and why is that ? The bad thing about it is it doesnt even look natural!

The nerve!

Besos,

Ms.Hollywood

Top TEN to look forward to.....

2009-01-18T21:29:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day will soon be here so how about some of these assorted flavors for that sweet tooth?

BRAYLON EDWARDS

RYAN REYNOLDS

REGGIE BUSH

BORIS KUDJOE

EDWARD NORTON

MORRIS CHESTNUT

IDRIS ELBA

RAY J

ORLANDO BLOOM

WILL DEMPS

Besos,
.....................to all of these fine MOFOS!!!!!

-Ms. Hollywood

Old School Vid Pick

2009-01-14T08:37:00.000-08:00

Besos,

Ms. Hollywood

On Some BULLSHIT!

2009-01-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

I was talking with my fellow divas and besides the usual catching up with the latest 'bochinche', we talked about relationships. We discussed how dumb men can be and how dumb they think we are by the excuses they feed us. My ex Rude Boy, (for those who know me know why I call him that but for those who don't its not because he's Jamaican - which he is, its because he's just plain old rude) has done me dirty more times than I can remember but one time he took me for a fool. But talking with the divas, I was not the only one who guys apparently thought women had idiots written on their foreheads. Here's my story (which I thought took the cake; boy was I wrong). I will share theirs as well. You be the judge.

Our utility bill had gone unpaid. When I confronted Rude Boy, he explained to me that he had two unpaid parking tickets that were in judgment that took precedence over the utility bill because the car could be towed. I don't believe him because, well.... he's Rude Boy. So I go to nyc.gov, click on the link where you pay tickets, enter his license plate number (why do I know this info, well when you have someone like Rude Boy as a mate, these things you just need to know) and sure enough two tickets were highlighted in red that were indeed in judgment. Just when I'm about to close the screen I see another ticket, a very recent ticket. I click on the ticket and see its for parking in front of a hydrant at one o'clock in the morning on a street no where near where we live. My women's intuition, inspector gadget hat, FED mode whatever you want to call it kicked in and I checked my phone log. Sure enough that night/morning I was calling him off the hook but he never picked up his phone. I'm HOT at this point. So instead of being the SMART SoChic who would've thrown that bit of information in her back pocket till there was substantial evidence that he was cheating, the EMOTIONAL and HYSTERICAL SoChic calls him up. "Who lives on Cortelyou Rd?" I demand. You know he gives me the what are you talking about bullshit. I don't give him any information besides the fact that I knew he was there that night/morning. He says "What you got a GPS tracking on me now?". Then says "I don't know who saw me but they have me mistaken with someone else". So remember I'm not SMART SoChic at this point. So I blurt out "You got a ticket on Cortelyou Rd a couple of days ago. Who are you fucking over there?" He denies knowing anyone in that area and asks where did I find this ticket. I tell him. Again not a smart move but this is EMOTIONAL SoChic here. This is when he hit me with the dumbest excuse (that I've ever heard from a guy). He says "IT WASN'T ME." What in the SHAGGY hell?? Now, I don't know how parking tickets work outside NYC, but police here have a device where they scan your registration so there are no mistakes. The ticket Rude Boy received was a scanned ticket; therefore no mistakes. This ticket was staring at me in the face clear as day on the website. It was HIS car no questions. Another thing is he lends his precious 'DC' (that's what he calls his car) to no one. He's arguing me down that it was not him. "It wasn't me. It wasn't me." He kept saying it over and over again. I don't know if I'm more upset that he is obviously cheating (not proven as of yet but I finally became SMART SoChic again and later found actual proof that he was really cheating) or that he thought I was going to buy his bogus excuse. Instead of 'DC' we should call the car KITT from Knight Rider because obviously if it wasn't him, the car drove itself there. He then did what all men do - flipped it saying how I was invading his privacy. I should have pulled a Carrie Underwood/Jazmine Sullivan and fucked his 'DC' up and then if he asked did I have anything to do with it - hit him with "IT WASN'T ME!!"

Here goes my divas.....

Diva #1. Its two o'clock in the morning and her boyfriends cell keeps buzzing. He keeps ignoring it. If she can hear it he damn sure can hear it too. He falls asleep. She decides to go through the phone. All messages from a female saying 'I miss you', 'Where are you'. Not thinking, diva wakes up her boyfriend with tears in her eyes and in a hysterical voice asks who is this that is sending him messages. He laughs and says 'I sent them to myself'. He explains he knew she would go through his phone so he went to a website where you can send text messages to a phone. He's basically saying he set her up. This may be true but she knows better. Fine, there is a website that does this but he's no where near a computer and hasn't been by one for the last couple of hours and these texts are recent. She demands an answer. He stammers and says "I have it set on timer".

Diva #2. Her husband has a mechanic who has no specific hours. He decides he wants to pay the mechanic a visit at ten o'clock at night. She goes to bed. Around five o'clock am she turns over and realizes he's not home. She calls his cell but its going straight into voicemail. She begins to worry and at six o'clock she finally gets a call from him from a payphone. He tells her I was carjacked. What, how, when and where?? He was driving and got held at gunpoint by two men. They told him to get in the back while they drove the car around for a few hours. Apparently, they didn't know what to do with him. After a while, the carjackers decide its best to let him go, (carjackers have hearts too). By the way, the car was miraculously found a couple of days later.

Diva #3. She noticed her toddler daughter was playing with a pack of condoms. She asked where she found it and pointed to her husbands briefcase. Being married for some time they no longer used condoms. She confronted him and his response.... he was going to use them as decorations (balloons) for their hotel room for the weekend getaway they were to go on. So she acted like she bought the lame excuse and said okay that's fine but there's one missing from the pack. He said he tested one out by filling it with water to see if it would look better filled with water or without it.

So whose story is more lame or dumb? Being carjacked and taken for a joyride? How about sending phony text messages to yourself? Maybe using condoms as decorations? Or could it be"It wasn't me"?

Either way this is my anthem for 2009. Because men are on some bullshit and guess what from now on SO AM I!!!!!!

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

10 Things That Piss Me Off!

2008-12-16T07:24:00.000-08:00

Ms. Hollywood did her list so I figured I share mine. Here goes......
1. When you leave something at someone's house (by accident) and the next day that someone is rocking your shit.
2. When a big person takes up almost two seats on the #3 train forcing you to sit on that uncomfortable raised part of the seat.
3. When people wear those shemaghs (arab scarves) in every color -that shit is PLAYED!!
4. When you go to the Dominicans for a trim (clip the ends) and you see three inches fall to the floor.
5. When people wear shades in the club. Where's the sun???
6. When Jamaican djs stop a song to talk and give shout outs. They actually talk more than they play songs. Listen here Mr. DJ, mi nuh care who di bloodclaat yuh ah dedicate di song to and mi nah care who inna di party just play di bombaclaat tune bredren, zeen!
7. When tourists stop in the middle of the street to take a picture. Hmmm, do I wait till they're finished or do I play the bitch role and walk right in the middle of their picture? Decisions, decisions.
8. When I have to pay fifteen dollars to check my bags for a flight. I have to pay you to toss my shit around?
9. When DJ Khaled is on a song (am I the only one who cringes at the sound of his voice?)
10. When a girl is walking with her man and quickly grabs his arm when she sees me walking towards them - CHICK, I don't want your man!
Honorable mention - Lyfe Jennings beard. (I just threw up in my mouth)

10 Things That Piss Me Off!

2008-12-15T12:23:00.001-08:00

Over at bossip.com they had a post on 10 Things That Piss Keyshia Cole Off. I decided to put up a list of my own. Here goes then ten things that piss me off!!!

1. Shaving bumps on a guys face and neck. I can't eat Nestle Crunch because of this.

2. Beyonce in her nude colored stockings.

3. Looking at Snoop Dogg in a wife beater.

4. The same re-runs on BET.

5. Emergency Broadcast System test during your favorite program.

6. Getting stuck on a line in a store with the new employee working the cash register.

7. Young boys wearing tight jeans aka baggy spandex.

8. Joan Rivers face (she's borderline Jocelyn Wildenstein).

9. Athletes turn rap artist/actor (Yes Shaq and Roy Jones Jr.).

10. Buying a drink and getting more ice than the drink. Did I just pay for a cup of ice???

Honorable Mention - Soon as you buy a car you start seeing the same car every where you go.

Besos - Ms. Hollywood

What's Beef?

2008-11-14T16:43:00.000-08:00

I'm reading Faith Evans book and read the part where she and Mary J. Blige stopped speaking and she never really knew why. I always wondered if Faith and Mary's falling out had anything to do with Lil' Kim who was Mary's homegirl. There is an unwritten rule in the BFF handbook that you never mess with a guy your BFF had dealings with. But is there a rule that your BFF's beef becomes yours? In high school this was true but as adults does this still apply? Did Mary not want to be associated with Faith because she had beef with her BFF? Mary was featured on Faith's first album on the song "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" but was taken off shortly thereafter. It reminds me of a time in high school when Ms. Hollywood and I came to blows because she didn't consider my beef her beef.

We went to a school in the city and the ratio of girls to guys was probably like 4:1. Besides the occassional jealous haters; if any girls had problems with other girls in the school it was more than likely over a guy. I was amongst one of those girls. Sophmore year, I started talking to this guy. Not really my type but something about his Harlem swag had me intrigued. We hung out a few times, I even met his family and spoke to his distant relatives on the phone. In my eyes I was his "boo". I knew he used to mess with a girl in school but I wasn't cool with her (hi and bye was the extent of our friendship) but he reassured me that it was over. Of course it had to be over because everyone knew about me so how could he be claiming anyone else. Oh the naivete of a teenager. Long story short he still was messing with old girl. (And a couple of others I later found out) And I wanted to be THE one not one of many. So I ended it with him. Because I was so blinded by Mr. Uptown I hated old girl for ruining what could have, would have, and let me tell it, should have been a prosperous relationship. The girl and I didn't even look at eachother the rest of our years throughout high school and had somewhat of a "beef". (Beef in my eyes back then was you didn't like the person)

Fastforward to senior year of high school, old girl was apparently still with Mr. Uptown and he was throwing her a birthday party. Add that to the humiliation this couple have already caused me. Oh well que sera sera. Obviously I wasn't going to this party. But practically the whole school was going. More shocking was that Ms. Hollywood was going. She even had the audacity to ask if I was going. I never gave her an answer. Why would my BFF want to go to a party of a girl I didn't get along with? Yeah my other homegirls were going but just knowing Ms. Hollywood even thought of wanting to go stung like hell. My other girls knew a little of how it ended with Mr. Uptown. But my BFF knew everything.

Night of the party is here and all my homegirls assume I'm going because Ms. Hollywood is going. So I head to my aunt's house afterschool. Around eight o'clock my beeper goes off. Its Ms. Hollywood. I don't bother to call her back. She beeps me a few times after that. Still not calling her. Now my beepers being blown up by Ms. Hollywood and my homegirl Parker. I decide to call my homegirl Parker not my BFF. Parker tells me everyone's at her house, and wanted to know where was I meeting them. I said "who said I was going". Then Ms. Hollywood gets on the phone and says "Are you coming yes or no?" Immediately I get pissed. I tell her put Parker on the phone. "Huh?", she says. This time I'm more stern and speak slowly as if that was the reason she didn't understand me in the first place. She gives Parker back the phone. At this point steam is shooting out my ears. I say without thinking "I'll meet y'all at Rockaway train station." I leave my aunt's house and head down Pennsylvania Ave towards the 3 train (shout outs to ENY). I get on the train and its only two stops to where my girls are at. Something told me to take off all my jewelry before I got to Rockaway Ave and I did just that. When my stop comes, I get up, peek out the door, see my girls and signal for them to come in my subway cart. Parker sits next to me and I don't even look at Ms. Hollywood. Parker asks me what's wrong because my attitude is obvious. I tell her "I feel disrespected." That's all I said and she didn't ask me to elaborate. We had to get off at Utica Ave. because we have to transfer to the 4 train heading to East Harlem. Ms. Hollywood runs after Parker as we get off the train and hurries to sit next to her. I see her through the corner of my eye and she asks Parker what's my problem with a big smirk on her face. That's it. I get up and start screaming at Ms. Hollywood. I yell "you're my problem!" And with that I swing at my BFF. Yes on the NYC subway. Ms. Hollywood kicks me but before we know it our girls broke it up. Two of my girls drag me to the other end of the train and at this point I'm crying. I turn towards Ms. Hollywood's direction and she's crying in Parker's arms. The whole train is staring at us. But can we blame them we've made a spectacle of ourselves - all because of me. Eventually the stares stopped as well as the tears. My girls are still trying to figure out what went wrong but they know its not the time nor the place. We stayed in our respective spots until we reach 125th street in silence the whole way.

We get to the party, and there still isn't much conversation. We're a little early to the party so is kind of empty. The dj is already playing music but no one's really dancing. Twenty minutes of standing against the wall waiting for more people to show up, we hear Biggie through the speakers. "Give me all the chickenheads from Pasadena to Medina". Me and my girls go mad and automatically hit the dancefloor. Now let me just add Ms. Hollywood, Parker and I were Total back in the days (yeah yeah laugh if u want but we were in high school so our actions were justified lol). We start doing the choreography that was in the video and we all look at eachother and the three of us get into a group hug. Ms. Hollywood and I start crying again and she says to me "you tried to beat me up". I laughed through my tears and we ended partying the rest of the night like the incident never happened. The irony of that whole evening was that party was one of the best parties I've been to and was so glad I went. LOL!!

She later explained to me that there was no real "beef" between me and old girl and that they were just issues and they were MY issues at that. I shouldn't expect her to feel a way about a person just because I felt that way and vice versa. I should have told Ms. Hollywood how I felt in the first place instead of letting my feelings escalate into anger. I mean what friends you know would turn the other cheek when you try to swing on them. Friends like that are hard to find and come by once in a blue moon. That's why we're still friends till this day. I love you Ms. Hollywood and so glad you're my BFF!!

Old School Vid Pick

2008-11-06T11:50:00.000-08:00

In honor of our 44th President Barack Obama, we're dedicating the old school video to him with none other than Sam Cooke's A Change Is Gonna Come. History was made on Tuesday, November 4th, 2008 and we will continue to make history. He is the first but sure won't be the last. He is an inspiration to all. He said "yes we can" and yes we did.

Thanks, kcarterchicago.

Besos,

Ms. Hollywood and Ms. SoChic

What is this VELVET???!!!!

2008-10-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

A staple that should be in every woman's closet is a blazer. Whether paired up with a pair of slacks or jeans or a dress, it always adds a touch of sophistication and completes your outfit. This fall/winter velvet blazers are in. The following are some options that will fit all styles and budgets. Enjoy!!!!

For the traditional divas......

NY&CO - $74.95

Ann Taylor - $158.00

For the colorful divas......

J.Crew - $168.00

Oasis - $120.00

For the frugal divas......

Forever 21 - $32.80

Forever 21 - $27.80

For the spendthrifty divas......

Anna Sui - $403.20

Chloe - $1,750.00

For the plus-sized divas......

INC - $88.61

And my personal favorite......

Lucky Brand Jeans - $158.00

Besos!!!

-Ms. SoChic

Old School Vid Pick

2008-10-15T20:10:00.001-07:00

When is it time to let go?

2008-10-14T20:28:00.000-07:00

After three strikes you're usually out but when it comes to my relationships I never applied that option to a certain individual. From day one I wanted him. Knowing he was already in a relationship, I tried to keep my feelings at a level so it won't blow up in my face.....yeah right! Hearing "you have to choose between one of us" made me sound ridiculous. All I was doing was making everything worse or in his words "you're pressuring me and pressure busts pipes!".....well to make a long story short I was the chosen one. At least that's what I thought. Over the years we have been together off and on, up and down, round and round. One thing always remained the same was my love for him - it never changed. When I first broke up with him for not knowing where our relationship was going as far as a "future" I regretted it. I had a substitute lover which wasn't going to work. I almost married someone else for all the wrong reasons. Nevertheless, I still was trying to move on. But why is it when we try our hardest to leave the past in the past and not think about a person all of the sudden you get the strange text message from that person? That's when everything starts all over again. We started contacting one another. Maybe i should have just changed my number. So now I'm cheating on the new one with the old one and it all turns into a sticky situation. I'm laying with the new one thinking of the old one which I'm sure everyone can relate to but I couldn't control it. I cried myself to sleep while laying next to someone who wanted to give me the world, but I didn't want it from him and that sucked. So I say to myself my ex isn't ready for a family but this new guy is so should I just stay and say fuck it?? If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with? Hell no! Whoever made the statement up must have died miserable because I refuse to be that person. A few months later I did get back with my ex and then a year later broke up AGAIN and what did I do - went right back to the one who did want a future with me. Ok at this point I am really playing myself because I'm a damn yo-yo and no one is going to take me seriously right? So let's just fast forward a few years later and yes I hate to admit I am still in love with the selfish and (at times) secretive one. I cannot trust this person for shit. I found out every time I ended our relationship he went back to same ex that was dumped for me! Go figure. I also would find so many other numbers in his phone (yes I'm a snoop - its a Scorpio thing) and read inappropriate text messages and then when I start to ask questions I hear stupid excuses only someone in special ed would believe...(no disrespect to the short bus). What kills me is he and I have such a strong connection to each other that there is no way we can deny it. But that adds up to nothing if you don't have trust. I'm in love I don't have to deny that. All my friends know this but would they tell me to escape before it's too late? No! Because it is too damn late! I'm in so deep I'm drowning. Do I like to feel like this? No I don't but I don't want to be without him. Its like a love spell has been casted. Through the fights, the pain, the worry and jealousy there were the laughs, pleasure and love. I'll admit I wasn't an angel either and when I wasn't getting love I would reach out and touch someone(else). Every year I would tell myself "I will not start my new year like this" and of course I do. I just feel like there is no one else for me. Call me pathetic I guess? What do you think?

- Ms. Hollywood

Old School Vid Pick

2008-09-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

I thought this would be appropriate considering the earlier post. Enjoy!!

Besos,

Ms. SoChic

Sideline Ho

2008-09-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

“Ain't you tired of being on the side line
tired of getting yours after I get mines baby second
place don't get a prize when you gonna
realize that your wasting your time.....
Ain't you tired of spending all the holidays alone
tired of being his little sideline ho” – Sideline Ho by Monica

In the latest issue of Essence, there is a write up on why men cheat. The article features different perspectives on cheating from all types of people including a cheating husband, a daughter of a cheater and the other woman or what I (and R&B singer Monica) like to call them "sideline hos". The other woman’s angle was just so crazy. She cites, "I know what I'm doing is messed up, and part of it is the thrill of getting a man to do something he is sworn not to do" The thrill??? Couldn’t she go to an amusement park and ride a roller coaster for that quick rush? How can you get a thrill with leftovers? How can you get a thrill knowing there are lives you could be potentially damaging?

I can’t totally bash her because many years ago I was the "sideline ho". This guy wasn’t married (not that it makes it better), but he lived with his girlfriend. He told me that it was his apartment but she took it upon herself to just move in. He said they were having "problems" because she couldn’t have kids and they slept in separate rooms. He also said she made him miserable and he was not happy. Mr. Miserable was eleven years my senior so I was young and naïve and ate up everything he fed me. As much as I loved him, I hated him. I hated the fact that he kept telling me he was leaving her and we would be together. I hated that I didn't get the daytime visits but the late night creeps. I didn’t get the holidays but the day after. I could only call him certain hours of the day and since we lived so near to each other PDAs were off limits. The last straw was when I called him and didn't want to wait for a certain hour to see him. I demanded his time right then and there and if he wasn't going to give it to me, I was going to go up to their apartment and tell her EVERYTHING. I was too chicken to follow through. The next day when I spoke to him, he said he stayed in front of his building damn near half the night anticipating my so-called threat. I knew at that moment he was never going to leave her. If he didn't have a relationship with her and if he was miserable with her and I made him “sooo” happy why would he be so afraid to tell her they're done and he met someone new? Why would he protect her to keep her happy but make me miserable? I had to end it. A couple of years later, I bumped into Mr. Miserable and he told me he married the girlfriend and had adopted a son but they were separated and he was now living with another woman. You know he wanted to give us another chance. HA! Needless to say, I shut him down. I lied to him told him I was happily married and said no thanks.

I'm a strong believer in karma and not so long ago I got a call from my then boyfriend’s sideline ho. She told she knew all about me and how he told her how miserable I made him and he was going to leave me for her. (I will save that story for another day and another post) Yeah, it sounded VERY familiar. Even though I never had the audacity to make that phone call that this chick obviously had, I can only imagine the hurt and betrayal Mrs. Miserable would have felt because that's what I felt. Although the woman in Essence and I have different angles, we were very much the same. We both were selfish. We only cared about ourselves and didn’t think twice about how the main woman would feel if she found out. I was only concerned with my happiness as I’m sure that’s exactly how the other woman in Essence feels. I don’t care what kind of thrill you get from being the other woman nothing feels good about playing second fiddle. Take it from me; if he tells you he is going to leave, he’s not. You will forever be the “sideline ho”.

-Ms. SoChic

Old School Vid Pick

2008-09-10T20:57:00.000-07:00

To Ms. SoChic 8-) Freaks by Lil' Vicious

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wy39Sl1i5ls

Besos, Ms. Hollywood

Night From Hell

2008-09-05T20:39:00.000-07:00

Its Labor Day weekend and since we're both single - what better excuse to party. A friend of ours invited us to a party at a place called Alpine Mansion in New Jersey. Why not we thought. How much is it to get in? Free before one but it starts at nine. Sounds cool. So we get the VIP passes and start to get ready for our night out. So before we start with the details of our eventful evening let's start by saying we are in the middle of a recession. So when we MapQuested the directions (no we don't have a GPS system but after that night we already started looking into prices for a Tom-Tom) we chose the cheapest route - no tolls. Hey, we got bills to pay and college loans up the wazoo - every penny counts. So the MapQuest directions start with the Holland Tunnel. Everyone who is from New York or even familiar with the state knows the Holland Tunnel is the WORST!! But fuck it - it's what the directions say. So we head onto the Manhattan Bridge and cross-town on Canal St. Heading towards the tunnel, traffic becomes worse and worse. As we near the tunnel, traffic starts to move up and in a matter of seconds BOOM!!! We hit the car in front of us. We regain composure; make sure we're both okay and check the car out. We are in a '06 Toyota Solara. The grill is pushed back, the Toyota emblem fell off and the hood is lifted on the left side. Shit, calling the insurance company isn't even an option because since we are at fault the premium would go up before we know it not to mention we have mechanics in our family. So we check out the damage on the car in front of us. Now this goes to prove they don't make cars like they used to. We hit a Toyota Camry, maybe an '89 or '90. You know the car only had a few scratches - four or five TOPS!! Now the couple in the Camry is okay and neither of them are hurt but the driver still wants to call the cops. Whatever! So we pull off to the side because we're blocking traffic. So these guys driving past us decide to stop to see if we need help. So of course, we play the damsels in distress roles and the guys ask since we're okay, no one is hurt, and the Camry has no real noticeable damage then why are we waiting for the cops. The guys take it upon themselves to tell the couple they can drive off. We don't protest because we want to get out of there. So mind you, they are three African-American men - mid to late twenties (not really big or intimidating) and the couple in the car is Asian. Now the guys have no intention of strong-arming the couple nor did they come across this way. So as the guys are nearing the Camry all we hear is the ignition start and see that the car is about to pull off. We automatically start laughing hysterically. It was wrong of us to laugh because the poor couple probably feared for their lives but that laugh was exactly what we needed to ease the tension of car accident. At this point, we decide we are still going to this party. Hey, the evening can only get better from here. Humph!! After the Asian couple's scare, (guess they finally realized just because you're a black male doesn't mean you're a goon) the driver decides not to pull off and he comes out the car. One of the guys tells the driver there's minimal damage and since we're not getting our insurance company involved why get the cops involved. The driver says he just wants to follow protocol and just in case and blah blah blah. Cops come and guess what they say "couldn't you handle this amongst yourselves?" Nuff said we get in the car, make a quick u-turn and proceed to the Holland Tunnel. Off to the party we go!!

We finally get through the Holland Tunnel! Sigh! So since we have no sense of direction, of course, we get lost. We're from BROOKLYN; we don't know a thing about Jersey! But we're not afraid to ask for directions. We probably stopped at every other gas station for help. At this point, we just want to get there already. We're still driving when we finally see the sign stating we're entering Alpine! Thank goodness!! We drive past beautiful huge mansions and begin to feel at ease while staring at these houses in awe. Our ease was soon brought on by despair when we see nothing but cars ahead of us. A scene reminiscent to the traffic of the Holland Tunnel. We see a man trying to redirect traffic. We pull up to him, roll down the window and he tells us "ok you've reached the right house but valet parking is going to take forever. You're better off going back and try to find parking on your own." We say ok but ask him where the best spot is. He proceeds to tell us "go around the last turn past Celine Dion's old house." We look at each other and begin to laugh because who the hell knows or even cares where she USED to live??? Fine we make a "uwie" and make that first turn. Much to our surprise, there were nothing but cars parked up the long road. Yeah - BIG shocker. We continue to drive for about another two or three minutes and found a spot. This party better be worth it! So as we get ready to embark on our at least seven minute walk in our stilettos (BK Divas don't wear anything less than four inches) we see a couple of older gentlemen (low to mid forties) walking in the opposite direction. They try to holla. Just as we are ready to pass them by, they are getting into a car and ask us if we want a lift to the party. We quickly changed our tune and followed them into the small coupe. It’s about five of them so OF COURSE we have to sit on their laps. But it beats walking. So after three minutes of sitting on the grandpas' laps, (no funny business – we know how to sit on laps versus crotches), we reach the party. We honestly didn't think this moment would come. So we get out of the car and walk up the driveway towards the mansion. Good there's no line. Now where are those VIP passes? Where ARE the VIP passes? OH SHIT WHERE ARE THE VIP PASSES??? Fuck, they're in the car. No No No No No! There’s nothing left to do but go back down the long road and get them. We walk the seven minutes back to the car, got the passes, then walked the seven minutes back to the mansion. We walk up the driveway and we see that there's a line now. What the hell, we were just here like ten minutes ago. We then realize the time is a few minutes after one. That's when we hear the bouncer say its $100 to get in. Huh??? It was free just 15 minutes ago. How does it jump from free to ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS?? But wait a minute, we have VIP passes. We go up to the bouncer and explain to him we have VIP passes. He tells us it’s one hundred dollars for ALL passes. Disappointment, frustration and aggravation start to consume us, but we are not about to beg a bouncer to get in. At this point, there is a massive crowd of people trying to get in who also don’t want to pay the ridiculous amount they’re asking. We call our homeboy who gave us the tickets in the first place. He isn’t at the party yet but is on his way and is going to call his peoples who are already inside. Twenty minutes later our homeboy shows up and stands on line with us. But he isn’t saying anything except he is waiting for his peoples to come out. The disappointment, frustration, and aggravation are reaching a whole new level and now our feet are beginning to hurt. It does not look good. This truly is the definition of Murphy’s Law – what can go wrong will go wrong. Another twenty minutes pass by and we are still waiting for an answer. The crowd begins to dissipate. We see a guy arguing with the bouncer. It’s the comedian Drew Frasier. He tells the bouncer “Come on man, I just went to the outlet and bought these new shoes for this. Alright, alright one hundred dollars? Do you take debit?” We all start laughing. He comes towards us and jokingly says “come on we’re gonna go to Shadow for free.” It’s now going on two o’clock. Drew Frasier leaves. Our entertainment is gone. We are basically standing on a line for a party we are never going to get into unless we cough up the dough. It’s time to give up and we tell our homeboy we’re done and are going home. We walk down the long road back to the car but instead of being upset, we begin to laugh as we recap the night’s events. Here’s the rundown:
Estimate of car repairs ......... $400
Gas .................................. 40
Wendy’s .............................. 8
Tolls getting back home ............ 8
Spending quality time with your BFF and having a crazy story to tell..... PRICELESS!!!!

Ten Guys I Don't Want to Date

2008-09-04T17:58:00.000-07:00

Ms. Hollywood and I were discussing our past relationships and all of them (whether good or bad) have taught us valuable lessons. Because of them, I now know what types of guys I DO NOT want to date. Ms. Hollywood suggested I share it. Enjoy!

1. The Slacker - you know those guys who have no ambition or goals in life. Now I'm not trying to knock anyone's hustle because if you are selling bootleg DVDs on the side to help you get out of debt, save money, or have a little extra on the side, baby do you. But don’t expect me to introduce you to my parents if you plan to spend the rest of your life on the corner saying, "I got that new Will Smith!!"

2. The Shady Politician - these men talk a good game. Their campaign is tight. They say and do all the right things to get your vote. But as soon as they're elected, they fail to deliver. These men are sometimes hard to notice at first but if they get into office and turns out to be "George H.W. Bush" who told you to read his lips: no new taxes; he will not be re-elected, better yet his ass will be impeached!!

3. Secret Agent Man - this is the guy who is so private and secretive you can't help but think he is hiding something. Now I don't expect him to tell you every detail of every minute of his day but geesh, let me in a little. You know when you call him on the phone and ask him what he's up to and he responds, "I'm at where I'm at. I’m doing what I'm doing!" Or his MySpace page is private and he continues to deny your friend request! LOL! We can be friends but your 007 ways will drive me to insanity!

4. The Smother Brother (or what Ms. Hollywood calls a Bugaboo) - everyone has had one of these. You go out on a date and when you get home, he is already calling you and has sent you a couple of text messages. He constantly wants to see you and is always up under you. Respect my space please. Now some may think this is cute but this is borderline stalker status. He needs to get a hobby and kick rocks ASAP!!!

5. Sir Brag A Lot (Mr. Me Too) - I don’t care about what you have or how great you claim to be. I am not impressed that you know D list celebrities or how many girls would die to be in my spot. Confidence is always a great look and adds to a man’s swag but being cocky is such a huge turn-off. I once dated a guy who thought I was going to be impressed that he was on the cover of a brochure selling uniforms. Ummm, sweetie, you thought wrong.

6. The Green Monster - this is the jealous guy - just green with envy. He's the one who doesn't want you having male friends, doesn’t want you wearing revealing clothing, wants you to check in every ten minutes when you go out with your girls, gets mad when you say Boris Kodjoe is good looking and has more insecurities than you can count. This leads to numerous arguments and stress you don’t need. Before you know it, he becomes "Crazy/Deranged" and follows you in the club with pajamas and slippers on!

7. Mamas Boys - now this is a Catch 22 because we all want a man who honors, loves and respects his mother. But we don’t her all in our business. (Cue in K-Solo) All I’m seeing right now is Charlotte’s overbearing mother-in-law on Sex and the City. She had a say in everything from the bed they slept in to the child they were thinking about adopting. Remember the episode where Charlotte walked in on her husband taking a bath while the mother sat next to him. NOT COOL!! Time to cut that umbilical cord and may I suggest some professional help for that Oedipus complex.

8. Waldo Faldo - Remember Eddie Winslow’s friend on Family Matters. The dumb as rocks idiot dimwit. Let me be fair and say I don’t expect a rocket scientist or someone with a ridiculous IQ for a potential mate, but I expect you to at least be able hold a conversation or count past ten. When I was 21, I met a guy at a carnival who was the same age. He asked what I did for a living. I told him I was a bookkeeper. He then asked me what bookstore I worked at. Granted we were both still wet behind the ears at a tender age of 21 but come on. Bookstore??

9. Sperm Donors - I don’t think any explanation is needed for this one, but I will break it down anyway. These guys have twelve kids and seven baby mamas. They got that super sperm. You only have to kiss the dude and end up pregnant. I don’t mind dating a man with kids but think about it. If a man has a couple of kids from a couple of different women, how and when is he going to find the time to work, spend time with his children and have time for you. Sorry, but I do not want to be baby mama number eight.

10. The “Bout-to” Dudes - What IS a “bout-to” dude? These are the guys who are always “bout-to” make moves but well you know the rest. He’s living in his mama’s basement but is “bout-to” close on a condo. He refuses to work because he’s “bout-to” get a record deal (that’s been in the works for the last five years). Or worse, he’s currently married but “bout-to” get divorced.

Now I don't consider myself picky others may think I am. I just know what causes me stress and at this juncture in my life, I'd rather be stress free!

BESOS,

SoChic

Welcome!

2008-09-02T18:56:00.000-07:00

The BK Diva Chronicles was created by Ms.Hollywood and Ms.SoChic to discuss love, life, fashion and everything else us women love to talk about.

We are two best friends who have known each other for 15+ years whose life experiences are funny, sometimes sad yet relatable.

We hope you enjoy your visit and continue to come back.

BESOS,

Hollywood & SoChic