What's Beef?

I'm reading Faith Evans book and read the part where she and Mary J. Blige stopped speaking and she never really knew why. I always wondered if Faith and Mary's falling out had anything to do with Lil' Kim who was Mary's homegirl. There is an unwritten rule in the BFF handbook that you never mess with a guy your BFF had dealings with. But is there a rule that your BFF's beef becomes yours? In high school this was true but as adults does this still apply? Did Mary not want to be associated with Faith because she had beef with her BFF? Mary was featured on Faith's first album on the song "Love Don't Live Here Anymore" but was taken off shortly thereafter. It reminds me of a time in high school when Ms. Hollywood and I came to blows because she didn't consider my beef her beef.

We went to a school in the city and the ratio of girls to guys was probably like 4:1. Besides the occassional jealous haters; if any girls had problems with other girls in the school it was more than likely over a guy. I was amongst one of those girls. Sophmore year, I started talking to this guy. Not really my type but something about his Harlem swag had me intrigued. We hung out a few times, I even met his family and spoke to his distant relatives on the phone. In my eyes I was his "boo". I knew he used to mess with a girl in school but I wasn't cool with her (hi and bye was the extent of our friendship) but he reassured me that it was over. Of course it had to be over because everyone knew about me so how could he be claiming anyone else. Oh the naivete of a teenager. Long story short he still was messing with old girl. (And a couple of others I later found out) And I wanted to be THE one not one of many. So I ended it with him. Because I was so blinded by Mr. Uptown I hated old girl for ruining what could have, would have, and let me tell it, should have been a prosperous relationship. The girl and I didn't even look at eachother the rest of our years throughout high school and had somewhat of a "beef". (Beef in my eyes back then was you didn't like the person)

Fastforward to senior year of high school, old girl was apparently still with Mr. Uptown and he was throwing her a birthday party. Add that to the humiliation this couple have already caused me. Oh well que sera sera. Obviously I wasn't going to this party. But practically the whole school was going. More shocking was that Ms. Hollywood was going. She even had the audacity to ask if I was going. I never gave her an answer. Why would my BFF want to go to a party of a girl I didn't get along with? Yeah my other homegirls were going but just knowing Ms. Hollywood even thought of wanting to go stung like hell. My other girls knew a little of how it ended with Mr. Uptown. But my BFF knew everything.

Night of the party is here and all my homegirls assume I'm going because Ms. Hollywood is going. So I head to my aunt's house afterschool. Around eight o'clock my beeper goes off. Its Ms. Hollywood. I don't bother to call her back. She beeps me a few times after that. Still not calling her. Now my beepers being blown up by Ms. Hollywood and my homegirl Parker. I decide to call my homegirl Parker not my BFF. Parker tells me everyone's at her house, and wanted to know where was I meeting them. I said "who said I was going". Then Ms. Hollywood gets on the phone and says "Are you coming yes or no?" Immediately I get pissed. I tell her put Parker on the phone. "Huh?", she says. This time I'm more stern and speak slowly as if that was the reason she didn't understand me in the first place. She gives Parker back the phone. At this point steam is shooting out my ears. I say without thinking "I'll meet y'all at Rockaway train station." I leave my aunt's house and head down Pennsylvania Ave towards the 3 train (shout outs to ENY). I get on the train and its only two stops to where my girls are at. Something told me to take off all my jewelry before I got to Rockaway Ave and I did just that. When my stop comes, I get up, peek out the door, see my girls and signal for them to come in my subway cart. Parker sits next to me and I don't even look at Ms. Hollywood. Parker asks me what's wrong because my attitude is obvious. I tell her "I feel disrespected." That's all I said and she didn't ask me to elaborate. We had to get off at Utica Ave. because we have to transfer to the 4 train heading to East Harlem. Ms. Hollywood runs after Parker as we get off the train and hurries to sit next to her. I see her through the corner of my eye and she asks Parker what's my problem with a big smirk on her face. That's it. I get up and start screaming at Ms. Hollywood. I yell "you're my problem!" And with that I swing at my BFF. Yes on the NYC subway. Ms. Hollywood kicks me but before we know it our girls broke it up. Two of my girls drag me to the other end of the train and at this point I'm crying. I turn towards Ms. Hollywood's direction and she's crying in Parker's arms. The whole train is staring at us. But can we blame them we've made a spectacle of ourselves - all because of me. Eventually the stares stopped as well as the tears. My girls are still trying to figure out what went wrong but they know its not the time nor the place. We stayed in our respective spots until we reach 125th street in silence the whole way.

We get to the party, and there still isn't much conversation. We're a little early to the party so is kind of empty. The dj is already playing music but no one's really dancing. Twenty minutes of standing against the wall waiting for more people to show up, we hear Biggie through the speakers. "Give me all the chickenheads from Pasadena to Medina". Me and my girls go mad and automatically hit the dancefloor. Now let me just add Ms. Hollywood, Parker and I were Total back in the days (yeah yeah laugh if u want but we were in high school so our actions were justified lol). We start doing the choreography that was in the video and we all look at eachother and the three of us get into a group hug. Ms. Hollywood and I start crying again and she says to me "you tried to beat me up". I laughed through my tears and we ended partying the rest of the night like the incident never happened. The irony of that whole evening was that party was one of the best parties I've been to and was so glad I went. LOL!!

She later explained to me that there was no real "beef" between me and old girl and that they were just issues and they were MY issues at that. I shouldn't expect her to feel a way about a person just because I felt that way and vice versa. I should have told Ms. Hollywood how I felt in the first place instead of letting my feelings escalate into anger. I mean what friends you know would turn the other cheek when you try to swing on them. Friends like that are hard to find and come by once in a blue moon. That's why we're still friends till this day. I love you Ms. Hollywood and so glad you're my BFF!!